My job required me to upgrade my qualifications. I could have chosen a one-year diploma in children’s services but decided to up the ante and enrolled in post graduate studies: a Masters of Teaching, a four year commitment part-time. Three weeks into the course, I discovered I was pregnant. I just completed the first half of the university year with high distinctions (I am now 16 weeks pregnant) but it was all-encompassing, leaving little time for creative indulgence, daydreaming and vegging out. I am so thrilled about my first pregnancy and feel like my studies are diverting my attention away from this special and sacred time. At first I thought I could continue studies after the baby was three months old, now my spirit wants to set studying aside immediately. I’m not truly passionate about becoming a teacher but I am truly passionate about becoming a mother. This pregnancy and baby is a milestone, a lifelong dream, and I want to soak up the beauty of this time. But I feel guilty about the idea of “quitting” the masters course.
Is it just my ego that wants to persevere with the studies? If I “drop out”, will I find other career opportunities when I’m ready to re-enter the workforce? Should I try to find a way to continue the course? How can I honour the miracle of this time?
Melissa, VIC, Australia
Honor and success are partners in this decision of yours. I feel you are in a precisely positioned choice point. It is not a coincidence that you became pregnant three weeks into the course. When a soul is working on mastery of the human plane the classroom of distinguishing life choices is offered. It is time now; you define personally what success is to you. There is not an existing definition that will match the perfection of your own dynamics at play. With your own definition of success in hand, reach out to meet your other hand, symbolized as self-honoring. As each hand, symbolically represented, reaches out, let your heart guide the innocence of their acquaintance. The way you honor yourself in this time is your key to success. It is a distinguishing life choice where your success is defined by your ability to master your self-honoring. No other can answer the question you ask yourself. As you stand naked gazing upon the beauty of your pregnant belly, listen to your truth.
Take a deeper look at the possible who, what, when, why and how of your ego’s drive and desires to obtain your degree. There was an era in which women were not allowed into the work force. The polarity of this previous limitation shines in the movement of “all” women to now be accomplished worker bees on the “front lines”. I say the modern woman today is defined not by her “job” status rather by her “job” to be independent in her thinking and actions. Your job here, in my opinion, is to understand yourself and how to assert your authentic self. A modern woman’s success may lie in her ability to liberate from the black and white dogma of polarities of: “I am a stay at home mom” or “I am a working woman in the world”.
Liberation from the imposition of another’s opinion by self-honoring, the true lesson plan now, is arrived at by personalizing your choice. Your choice is dynamic, shamanic in origin and transcendent of ego desire. Now is the time to “fit in” by belonging to your soul’s proclamation. I believe you have your answer to what you would like to do next to continue or discontinue your masters program. However, where you may need support is how to stand ground for your authentic self in the face of another’s opinion. Yes, the ego desires your “stature” to be decorated with credentialed initials. However, I do not see your soul concerned with the triteness of these human aggrandized letters. To this I say purchase a beautiful journal and choose the letters by which you will now “ordain” yourself. You may choose W.W. standing for Wise Woman, or perhaps M.M. standing for Mystical Mother. Once you have selected the initials you like, write yourself a letter of acknowledgement and sign your name with your properly appointed title.
I think of Bill Gates in the mid 70’s dropping out of Harvard to pursue his own “baby” – an unheard of start up company. Imagine the talk of the town in his life then “how could he drop out of Harvard? He’s loosing one of the best opportunities for his financial future!” $50 billion dollars later he could talk to those in town who ruminated over what they thought of his “poor choice” and ask now what they think. While your next financial windfall may not be $50 billion dollars don’t doubt for a moment the pricelessness of your experience and where it will lead you.