Ask Alison – Steps to Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries

Dear Alison,

My problem is that my 36-year-old son and 59-year-old sister have both fallen on hard times and moved in with me.  I am trying to help them by allowing them to live with me at no cost so they can get on their feet, but to no avail!  I have been told I have the patience of a saint, but an old friend once told me “patience is a virtue, but sometimes it can hurt you”, and that’s where I am right now.  I cannot afford to support these people. I am unemployed and the cost of living is taking every penny of my retirement savings, which is almost totally depleted.  I don’t have the heart to throw my son or sister out on the street, but if this is not resolved soon, we will all be in a homeless shelter!!

How do I inspire/motivate my son and sister to get on their own two feet? ?  I don’t have the knowledge to manipulate them into doing what they need to do to grow up.

Beth GA, USA

Dear Beth,

Hope is insight.  The only way out is in.  If a storm is brewing and it’s in your own home it’s time to button down the hatches.  Did you know when hurricane Katrina hit many people underestimated the potential danger and refused to leave town?  The result included unnecessary loss of life and great tragedy.  The result also produced miraculous rescues.

Can you see the parallel I am beginning to draw?  Here is a unique story to help further illuminate the connection to your question.

Among those who chose to stay behind, as Katrina hit, included people of all ages and walks of life.  One of which, was a retired veteran, who happened to own a small motorboat.  Finding himself dangerously imprisoned, by rising water levels, he abandoned his home, as soon as it was safe to do so, hopped in his boat and rescued himself.

As he was motoring through the flooded streets he heard cries sounding from the rooftops. The voices belonged to desperate, scared and helpless residents who were yelling for their lives.  Among those he saved included a 73 year-old man, living on his own, a brand new infant baby and mother.

I ask you, based on the story above, was it stupidity that caused the veteran to confront Katrina?  Or was it divinity?  My answer is simple. It was both.  This man was a saint and a fool.

Aren’t we all, a bit of each, in different life situations?  He didn’t start by trying to be a saint rather he sat at home like the “fool” in oracle decks.  In his innocence he was used to save others, by unintentionally risking his own life, thereby becoming the saint who saved lives.

If your innocent well-intentioned offer to house your family members has turned into a self-sacrificing insanity time to make a course redirect.  Remember, if you are practicing sainthood the club of foolery isn’t far from the front door.

What caused the veteran to stay in his home even though, one of the largest storms predicted in the history of New Orleans, was about to hit his hometown?

I am going to presuppose the elements of denial and destiny, were at play.  I am going to presuppose the same thing is happening in the “hurricane” of your household.

Here are a few ways to revamp your rescue mission by setting healthy relationship boundaries.

Step One:  Moving out of Denial

To successfully transform your situation you must first move out of denial, on any and every level.  Denial, the refusal to acknowledge the existence of something, typically, unpleasant facts is costly.  Start by stating the facts.  Put all your cards on the table, in private with yourself.  Do this in writing.

Look at the area of finances.  What is your current financial state?  What can you give and not give?  Come up with a realistic number per day, per week, per month, per year that you currently need for your personal living including household costs.  Write it down.

Reevaluate your work.  Do you enjoy what you are doing?  Do you feel more alive after a days work? Would you do this type of work even if you didn’t get paid for it? If you answered no to any of the above it may be time to work on changing your career.

Next look in the area of your relationships. Start with the most important relationship first.  That, as I see it, is you in relationship with you.  What do you need to be happy?  What are you not giving yourself that you need?  What are you putting up with that is absolute nonsense?  Why are you putting up with it?

Are you scared to be honest?  Have confrontation?  This may be one of the reasons you have created this dynamic.  It is part of your purposeful growth, your destiny, to clean up some old boundary issues.

I recommend reading the book, The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson, to help you do this.  Here you will be given the key steps needed to learn to put yourself first thereby leading you to get what you need and ultimately allowing you to give at greater capacities.

Have you ever noticed at the end of performance arts events it takes one person, then two people, then three, then four to create a room full of people on their feet giving a standing ovation?

I am standing and clapping for you.  I am your biggest fan. I applaud your love, your courage, and your generosity.  You are extremely selfless.

The difficulty comes when you forget that as a human, living in a world of duality, cuddled next to your selflessness is it’s opposite; selfishness.  If you won’t claim your own selfishness those around you will.

It’s the nature of polarity.  Be selfish.  I know, I know it flies in the face of so many spiritual teachings.  It may sound counter intuitive but, it’s actually practical and it works.  Especially, when done consciously.  Besides, you being selfish is still what many people consider giving.  This may be your toughest homework.

The two feet, I suggest you find, which will give you the greatest happiness, are yours.   Take a stand for your self.  As you do others will change around you.  It’s not manipulation.  It’s called transmutation.

Next, learn to set boundaries.

Step Two: How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Healthy adult relationships are based on mutual give and take. Parent child relationships, when the child is the age of a dependent, are more of a one-way street.  If I understand correctly both your son and sister are adults therefore the advice for boundary setting applies to adult relationships.

A river without boundaries is a flood.  How do you rescue someone when you are drowning yourself?  You don’t.  What are the boundaries you need to set in place?

For a moment make this impersonal.  Do not place emphasis on the stories, which seduce, confuse and sabotage your attempt to live balanced.  Simply state your basic needs, to yourself. For example: I am sharing my living space I need two roommates who each pay X amount, take out the trash every Tuesday, clean up after themselves and respect me as I do them. We work through difficulty with ease and grace.  I offer clear boundaries and make it easy for others to know what I will and won’t allow in my own home. Get the point?  Make it specific.  Once again, write it out.

One of the obstacles to setting healthy boundaries is fear.  When we set new boundaries in place we also ignite the possible reality, of disappointing, displeasing and disrupting a current relationship.  It may result in another becoming angry, withdrawn and rebellious.  This is a part of life.  We can’t control another’s response, life situation or path.  If you truthfully want change you must be willing to work through confrontation and hold your ground.

Setting boundaries may also result in you receiving the exact support you need. Your clarity can also invoke, in another, the desire to abide, appreciate and honor you by going out of their way to uphold your wishes.  Can you imagine this in your household?  Start to see this happening for you.  Crystallize a vision of yourself being cared for, nurtured and loved, just as you are.  Not because you are the provider or pretending to provide at the expense of your safety and sanity.

There is a distortion that love is something we trade, like baseball cards. You do not need to sacrifice yourself to get love.  This is an untrue, unconscious belief.  You are loveable because you exist.  Warts and all, it’s true.

Once you have established your boundaries your next step is to communicate compassionately, consciously and clearly.

Step Three:  Communicate to Create the Outcome you Desire

Have you heard of Nonviolent Compassionate Communication (NVC)?  If not, look it up on the internet. NVC is a basic four-step communication method, founded by Marshall Rosenberg, that can help teach you how to best communicate your message.  I suggest the book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.

When we speak our body language, tone, emotions and energy speak the loudest.  Words are the icing on the cake.  If you are angry, frustrated and judgmental, in your communication, you will generate defensiveness and your message will fall on deaf ears.  Notice your own energy.  Are you attacking creating your audience as a helpless victim?  Or are you speaking compassionately creating an ally to your efforts?

Lastly, take your written vision from step two, in it’s final version and speak it aloud. Practice by looking yourself in the eye in the mirror a few times before you do it aloud.  Choose a safe friend to share with and practice again. Next, confront your roomies.  As you communicate (before, during and after) see the most positive, empowered and conscious image of your son or sister in your mind’s eye.  If they are feeling stuck or lost you can help by imagining them at their greatest.  Holding both of them as capable competent creators is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.

This situation is not an easy one but it is one that is rich with growth, if you choose.  I say, go for it!  You deserve fantastic, uplifting, generous mutually beneficial relationships that bring out the best in you.  Create it first with yourself.  Give yourself an ovation.  Their feet will stand in response.  Truly, inspiring.

Thank-you for writing in to “Ask Alison”, may these words offer you peace, inspiration and healing. Let us know how it goes!

With Love,

Alison

Ask Alison -Learning to Love Yourself

Dear Alison,

I have recently become overweight.  I feel sad and unhappy in my life because of my weight and not worthy to be alive.

How do I love myself more?

Sincerely,

George, Hawaii, USA

Dear George,

First, I offer you a giant hug filled with the depth of the ocean, the height of the sky and the expansiveness of the horizon. My beautiful friend your presence is one of the most precious gifts to all of humanity.  Though your realization of this preciousness may remain hidden to your view, like a sun behind a storm cloud, it is the truth.  Your light, your love, your heart, your wisdom is unlike any other.  The ego is a champion at hiding your true light.

Step One:  Give Yourself a Wonderful, Strong embrace.

An embrace, like the kind you so generously give to others.  Next, we are going to work with a simple technique to offer you a mental embrace while shifting your self-image.  Human beings transform through habit and imagination.  This technique is taken from NLP practices.

1. Read this exercise completely.  Next, go stand in front of a mirror.  Close your eyes and follow the steps in this exercise.
2. Imagine yourself with a friend, family member, co-worker etc. that has complimented and praised you.  The praise could be of a talent, a way you were supportive or perhaps how handsome you look.  Hear the praise in your mind.
3. Imagine this person directly in front of you gazing into your eyes beaming kindness and love while speaking the praise.
4. Now imagine you can step into this person’s body and look at yourself.  Feel the love and kindness they feel towards you.
5. Imagine stepping back into your body and open your eyes.
6. Look yourself in the mirror and feel the love, value and kindness from your own eyes emanating. Hear the praise of your own mind speaking to you.
7. Practice this exercise 3x a day for a week.  And repeat as needed.

Step Two:  Become Conscious of the Way Thoughts Relate to Emotions

To err is human.  It is in the error of your thinking that you will find the clearing to take more self-loving actions. Imagine you words as arrows, each pointing in the direction of mental pathways that consequently generate emotional states.  The emotions of sadness and discontent are directly related to the internal representation you are feeding your mind with.  Can you observe the change in your body without judgement? It is key to see yourself through the act of observation rather than judgement.

Thinking leads to emotions, which leads to behavior.

Thoughts > Emotions > Behaviors = Results

Imagine language as technology.  The same way computer software programs are a technology.  Software programs offer an installed structure to produce a variety of outcomes.  For example, you can use accounting software to balance numbers or recording software to produce music or movie making programs to make movies.  The thoughts you habitually think and consciously choose mentally program you to have the exact emotional states you currently express.  Negative thoughts such as “I am unworthy of being alive” will lead with precision to unhappiness.  What is a new thought you could choose?  What about, “I am alive.  I am worthy.”  Your personal worth is inherent.  Your weight has nothing to do with your worth.  Though your thinking, acting in egoic and erroneous ways, will tell you otherwise.  Choose new thoughts.

Step Three:  Become Aware of Your Habits

When rubber meets the road in the area of transformation and personal growth the greatest changes come through your every day habits.  It’s rather simple yet, incredibly illusive at times.  Why do we do the things we do?  Why do we not do things?  If you visited a small village in Vietnam where rice paddy workers were thin and strong you may think, “what a great life…  these people work outdoors, they are slender, they are strong I wish my “fat” self could look like them!”  Why are they thin?  They use their physical bodies every day to work.  (BTW, if you got to know them a little better however, you may find that they too have life challenges though being overweight is not one of them!)

In your daily life you have “fields” you are working in.  It may be at a desk, sitting in front of a computer screen or long hours of no movement.  My simple answer, in the area of action, to you, is to look at your daily movement and move more.  The emotional energy that is guiding you to eat more than you may need or move less than you need for your ideal body weight is handled in step one and two.  In step three it’s as simple as calories in and calories out.  Make a note where you are spending the time in your day, what you are choosing to eat and how to properly plan for more exercise, appropriate food choices, and then take action.  Move and moderate your intake/outtake of both.

Step Four:  Personal Worth and Body Image

What can I say, other than, when in Rome do as the Romans do.  When on Earth do as the humans do. To judge yourself, belittle yourself and wish to escape from life in shame from your weight “issue” is as common as meeting a red light at an intersection.  My dear, we are in this one together.  If it weren’t body weight, it would be not having enough money, or enough friends, or the perfect car.  We shall heal this dynamic through more inquiry.

Souls live in and through the body.  Is it possible we are a nation of Souls starving with obese egos? If you choose to disentangle this relationship, “because I am this I am that”, a great awakening is at your fingertips.  It is a part of the journey of awakening to untangle your sense of worth from an external attribute.  Your body image generates your actions leading to weight. However, your body image derived from your weight equaling worthlessness is untrue.  See the malicious entanglement.  Give gratitude for new understandings and commit whole- heartedly to connect with yourself as LOVE.  Love is your natural state of being whether you are 300 pounds or 100 pounds.  An 8lb baby, a 10lb baby or a 5lb baby are all born inherent with the presence as a state of love.  It is not correlated to their weight.  To love your self more is to connect with yourself as LOVE.  To loose weight follow the above steps.

Thank-you for writing in to “Ask Alison”, may these words offer you peace, inspiration and healing.

With Love,

Alison

Ask Alison Answers – Career

Dear Alison,

My job required me to upgrade my qualifications. I could have chosen a one-year diploma in children’s services but decided to up the ante and enrolled in post graduate studies: a Masters of Teaching, a four year commitment part-time. Three weeks into the course, I discovered I was pregnant. I just completed the first half of the university year with high distinctions (I am now 16 weeks pregnant) but it was all-encompassing, leaving little time for creative indulgence, daydreaming and vegging out. I am so thrilled about my first pregnancy and feel like my studies are diverting my attention away from this special and sacred time. At first I thought I could continue studies after the baby was three months old, now my spirit wants to set studying aside immediately. I’m not truly passionate about becoming a teacher but I am truly passionate about becoming a mother. This pregnancy and baby is a milestone, a lifelong dream, and I want to soak up the beauty of this time. But I feel guilty about the idea of “quitting” the masters course.

Is it just my ego that wants to persevere with the studies? If I “drop out”, will I find other career opportunities when I’m ready to re-enter the workforce? Should I try to find a way to continue the course? How can I honour the miracle of this time?

Melissa, VIC, Australia

Dear Melissa,

Honor and success are partners in this decision of yours. I feel you are in a precisely positioned choice point. It is not a coincidence that you became pregnant three weeks into the course. When a soul is working on mastery of the human plane the classroom of distinguishing life choices is offered. It is time now; you define personally what success is to you. There is not an existing definition that will match the perfection of your own dynamics at play. With your own definition of success in hand, reach out to meet your other hand, symbolized as self-honoring. As each hand, symbolically represented, reaches out, let your heart guide the innocence of their acquaintance. The way you honor yourself in this time is your key to success. It is a distinguishing life choice where your success is defined by your ability to master your self-honoring. No other can answer the question you ask yourself. As you stand naked gazing upon the beauty of your pregnant belly, listen to your truth.

Take a deeper look at the possible who, what, when, why and how of your ego’s drive and desires to obtain your degree. There was an era in which women were not allowed into the work force. The polarity of this previous limitation shines in the movement of “all” women to now be accomplished worker bees on the “front lines”. I say the modern woman today is defined not by her “job” status rather by her “job” to be independent in her thinking and actions. Your job here, in my opinion, is to understand yourself and how to assert your authentic self. A modern woman’s success may lie in her ability to liberate from the black and white dogma of polarities of: “I am a stay at home mom” or “I am a working woman in the world”.

Liberation from the imposition of another’s opinion by self-honoring, the true lesson plan now, is arrived at by personalizing your choice. Your choice is dynamic, shamanic in origin and transcendent of ego desire. Now is the time to “fit in” by belonging to your soul’s proclamation. I believe you have your answer to what you would like to do next to continue or discontinue your masters program. However, where you may need support is how to stand ground for your authentic self in the face of another’s opinion. Yes, the ego desires your “stature” to be decorated with credentialed initials. However, I do not see your soul concerned with the triteness of these human aggrandized letters. To this I say purchase a beautiful journal and choose the letters by which you will now “ordain” yourself. You may choose W.W. standing for Wise Woman, or perhaps M.M. standing for Mystical Mother. Once you have selected the initials you like, write yourself a letter of acknowledgement and sign your name with your properly appointed title.

I think of Bill Gates in the mid 70’s dropping out of Harvard to pursue his own “baby” – an unheard of start up company. Imagine the talk of the town in his life then “how could he drop out of Harvard? He’s loosing one of the best opportunities for his financial future!” $50 billion dollars later he could talk to those in town who ruminated over what they thought of his “poor choice” and ask now what they think. While your next financial windfall may not be $50 billion dollars don’t doubt for a moment the pricelessness of your experience and where it will lead you.

With Love,

Alison

Ask Alison – Clearing the Path for Life Purpose Fulfillment

Dear Alison,

I feel inspired to make a transition toward living a more noble purpose, one in which I’m a leader, a synchronizer and a kind of “social entrepreneur,” so to speak. I have an idea to start an organization or entity that encourages people to use solar energy while also contributing to global and local causes. I have a good bit of energy around this idea, but find I’m having a hard time actually getting it going. I wonder how much of my time and focus I should put toward this, versus working toward writing a book for myself (something I’ve wanted to do for years, and just re-committed myself to doing) or other ventures that will support me financially.

What do I need to do now – either in practical or spiritual terms or both – to clear the road for my ideas to come into successful fruition? Are these ideas leading me to my higher life’s purpose?

- Elaine, California, USA

Dear Elaine,

If I told you a dandelion is a weed would you believe me? Likely so. It is ingrained in us from a very young age what is a weed and what is a flower. Unconsciously, a “weed” is often thought of as something to be discarded or not valued for it’s simple existence. A flower, however, is something valued and often highly. A dozen roses delivered on Valentine’s is a precious gift to the one receiving. The idea of noble does not exist in and of itself. Your noble path may be sneezing on the subway. See how you offer another a chance to bless you? In their blessing to you, their energy is actually healing them too. Your existence is the precious Valentine flower. See how generous you are? I suggest extra sneezing for you. Keep offering places for others to bless you. It heals them. I am serious. Offer your presence to places where others can bless you.

To answer your question I would be remiss if I didn’t gently remind the ego, all our ego’s, mine included, it is the simple acts done with great purpose which lead our souls to feel on our “higher” purpose in each moment. Beware of ego “stances”, kicking down the ally way, waiting like the neighborhood bully, to push you on your path. On spiritual terms I see what will assist you greatly is to meditate and identify three ideals your Soul holds as the highest priority. Ideals, like stars, are the guiding light to move you on your path. Unlike goals, which you may lose your fervor for depending on the wind, ideals anchor you on your path through thick and thin. You can put them to practice at the post office as easily applying them to “grander causes”. Noticing the activities or interchanges where you feel most alive can, usually identify these “ideals”. Do you feel most alive when you help an elderly person cross the road? Perhaps compassion is important to your Soul. Do you feel most alive when you teach a class on self-improvement? Being a bringer of “truth” may be important to your Soul. Do you see where I am going with this? I have a personal example. For years I was interested in being an inspirational public speaker. I even moved from Hawaii to San Diego to work in an office and train with a world renound inspirational speaker. But, when I got to San Diego I realized I had nothing to say because I wasn’t happy living in San Diego. I didn’t like the traffic, weather or lifestyle. (I do love visiting!) It wasn’t most important to my Soul to be an inspirational speaker. What was most important to my Soul was to live from my true nature. The reason I was inspired to speak was due to the inspiration I felt at the life I was living at the time I made the choice to move to SD. It was my life that would speak. Not words I had “trained” with to inspire. Now when I speak publically, in the street or on stage, it is my life that speaks. The words simply relay the life force energy I feel. When I identified what it meant to be “true to my heart” I found one of my Soul’s most important ideals. Living from my true nature. Now, I do this for a living. Aiding others to live from their true nature. In identifying what three main qualities are most important to your Soul, in this incarnation, you will experience and generate your more “noble purpose” everywhere you go and with all that you meet.

On a practical note, solar power, wind power, green initiatives, green drinks, café’s of gratitude and women of attitude is the combination recommended. A luxury afforded by harnessing the great sun proves to be an important milestone and necessity of our future sustainability. In my opinion, no one could be a better ambassador than you. As an ambassador you do have special allowances and diplomacies that are suggested to be received. You will be given a special license plate. One that reads, BREATHE, each driver behind you will be reminded to return to their true nature through breath. That is what your writing does. It causes others to breathe. You remind them to take in the beauty of their lives and life itself. The words you share evoke self-discovery through personal reflection while offering humor, entertainment and an opportunity for enlightenment. I see writing your book to be placed as a priority now. Make this the lead domino to follow. I sense your “social entrepreneurial” path is a more powerful domino to fall in line after your book. You will be known in this circle of philanthropy for your personally published works not other’s. Though you have helped many others with your wonderful writing ways. It is your turn now. Dedicate, drop in and drive it home. It is your time to be steadfast in your focus. The rest will fall in suit. Go to great fundraisers, parties and gatherings in this time. Share your talents in networking to continue to fulfill the part of you who loves to help others on their path. Now imagine ten of your best friends reading your published book. Now imagine ten print publications reviewing your book in their “book clubs”. Now imagine ten TV stations interviewing you about your book. Now imagine one choice and it is yours, take or leave whatever resonates for you in the advice column, what is the one thing you have dreamed of most in your life? When you have your answer you will know where to best place your energy for your financial, emotional, soulful and philanthropic “success”. It is the dream you have been dreaming before you were born and dreamed you to life. It is written in the stars for you Elaine. Write. Thank-you for submitting your question to “Ask Alison”.

Love,

Alison

P.S. Let me know how it goes.

Ask Alison – Self-Healing After Hitting Rock Bottom

Dear Alison,

After having held onto an enormous amount of resentment for many years (25+), I recently had what for me, was my “rock bottom” experience where I very nearly took my own life. Through the support of a close knit group of people around me, I am on the beginning of what is a completely “new” path. I’m working on releasing all that toxicity and forgiving both myself and others. My question is below.

I have had some exposure to what I’ll call “alt-Western” ideas about health and how negative emotions like anger, resentment, rage can affect the body negatively especially over the long term. Now that I really want to LIVE, can you offer any advice or hope that the impact of all those years can be healed, lessened or negated in any way?

Travis, Oregon, USA

Dear Travis,

After the rain comes the sun. Storms that destroy a village are painful nonetheless. Children left motherless, fishermen boat-less and businessmen without business. It is a passage of life that one must encounter with courage. The trials and tribulations of the third dimension are not fraught. The vessel which once took the man to capture fish, may be destroyed in the storm, yet the fishermen has not forgotten how to fish. From the Soul’s eye your full health is instaneous. The Soul holds the perfect knowing of your health, balance and wellness beyond the body. Call your soul into your body every day. It is simple. Imagine your higher self as a gold light hovering above the top of your head each morning when you wake. Feel your feet like magnets. Now open the crown of your head and feel the gold light of your higher self being pulled through your body all the way down to the souls of your feet. As well, begin each day feeling a shower of light, pristine white light, showering over your aura. Surrounding the body like a cocoon of light. The same way you step under the water of physical showerhead step under the invisible and real showerhead of white light daily and hourly as you wake. Re-engerize as often as you like.

I see you are a fisherman of life. You travel the seas of many emotions. Some days the emotions have been so strong, like a tidal wave, about to encompass your entire being and the desire to live with it. The seas have changed. The turbulent weathers may still abroad but, you have changed the navigation of your boat. The human being is designed to weather the storms of our emotions. The Soul is the compass to home. There are practices you can implement into your daily life for healing. First, for your physical body, it is suggested you improve your diet. Start each day with a healthy drink. A green fresh juice: kale, spinach, cucumber. Look up juices online. Add Superfoods (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superfoods) or foods high in minerals, like seaweed, to your diet as well. Your body needs a lot of good minerals to counterbalance the years of acidity. Less fried food. Start here. Diet first. Next, it is suggested more sleep. It seems your sleep patterns have been wavering or non-existent for years. You need sleep. The body heals and restores itself during these hours. Spend less time on the computer. Take the computer out of your bedroom. Make an office separate from your bedroom.

For your emotional body, forgiveness, first of self, then others, is your key to healing the emotional body. Include the importance of your journey. Every feeling on your journey is valid. Get to know these feelings as indicators to you of some underlying need of yours that is either being met or not met. Work with a professional counselor. It is not uncommon to question life or one’s desire to continue living. After working in the field of energy healing and wellness for many years, I can tell you it is more uncommon for people to not question life than to question it. Now taking action of the feelings and succeeding in ending one’s life is another discussion. For our discussion please know you are not alone. You are one of many who has chosen the Earth School “lesson” about your desire to live through your desire to not live. Learn about the scientific research on forgiving. http://www.forgiving.org/ These are the best steps I see you can take for now.

If a weathered tree from a storm asked you “Please sir, can you tell me I will be healed of the effects of this storm? My branches are twisted, my bough is bent and my fruit has been stripped from my leaves? Now I see the sun has come out but, I fear I will never be the same.” In confidence, I imagine you may say “Dear little tree, you see this how you were designed, in perfection, to weather the storm. Your beauty lies in your twists and bends. Your fruit will grow again in season’s time. And now with your new leaves I still will sit and receive the shelter of your shade on a sun’s blazing day. I will receive the nectar of your fruit when it is your time to produce. Little tree, I love you even more for your resilience. You will still grow strong and be healthy. It is in your design.” And the same is true for you Travis. It is in your design to be healthy, to be well, to feel balance, and to heal. It is time now to release and return to the love that you are. You are love and loved. Thank-you for writing in to “Ask Alison”.

Love,

Alison